FREEDOM of speech

it's almost been 4 years since i lost her.. i sometimes glimps on memory that i've should have been there for her.. but at the back of my mind, i know she wanted it to happen all along..

memories stretched out long way during our highschool years.. we've been bestfriends since that "drama" crossed our lives. Since then, she called me her "bes", i called her my "bes". she's the one i could easily talked to. even if i dont talk alot, i know she knew what i felt and what i was thinking in certain situations. on the other hand, i've been there for her, even if sometimes i cant understand her.. i made sure she felt my presence.. i stood by her.. but not that long..

we moved on, we've graduated.. been to places, lost contacts, made new friends.. but still, given the chance, we still talked as if we've just met yesterday. she knew all about me.. i told her everything.. i thought i knew everything with her too.. but i didnt..

i still have her pictures and letters.. i still pray for her.. ask God if she's happy of what have happend.. i still remember how she smiles, how she made jokes, how her face turned serious when i talk.. with these memories, she lives in me today..

i've never been to her grave since we buried her.. maybe because i got no time, or i just cant stand seeing her name printed on the ground.. i know she understands why..

i miss you bes.. rest in peace.. +