what the heck am i doing!

i just got slack again.. and again.. and again..

i badly needed a new life.. i felt so good, yet it hurts me more..

the more i lean to what i feel, i started to think. what the heck! do i just miss you, or am i a total loser? what's the point of all of this anyway? are you just being friendly and kind?.. do you feel something too? or am i just at the right place at the right time? i cant explain what im thinking, or even what i feel.. i just know im just stuck here again. feeling helpless..

when im with you, i wanted to be "us" and not just "you and me".. i want more than this.. but at the back of my mind, i know you wouldnt wanted it. i kept hurting myself, trying to get over you but i cant.. i try to stay away, but situations came in naturally, and again we're back at this situation: me, holding my heart close. you, just being yourself..

as i hold your hand at a toystore, i pick up a fortune ball.. wishing it would say yes.. but as i turn to see what is my fortune, it showed me.. "dont even think about it" damn....

hay buhay... baka bukas iba na ulit feeling ko.. shet mag iisang taon na akong mukhang ewan dito.. gumising ka na nga abril!